South San Francisco, CA     March 6, 2014

South City neighbor Rose Mallamo is facing a tough situation as many others have also experienced; the care of a loved one who is challenged with advance dementia.  She reached out to us for referrals and some of our neighbors responded.  Your experience and suggestions would also be greatly appreciated.

From Rose, “Has anyone had any experience with Board & Care Residential Homes in South City. My Mom is 91, has advanced dementia, I’ve cared for her the past 3 years, can’t do it anymore, she doesn’t walk, in wheelchair. It’s a difficult decision to make, just wondering if any recommendations out there. Thanks”

Neighbors responses:

Marie Acri-Taniguchi My father in law had dementia and he was at Mission Villa in Daly City… Right at the end of Hillside Blvd. they specialize in Dementia care and were very good with him until the very end.

Patricia Baker My dad is at one of the Westborough Manor homes in San Bruno. They provide good care but not much in the way of social stimulation. He misses having other people his age to talk to.

Marie Carelli-Partney I messaged Rose a private message to her “other” messages mail box. Hopefully she will find it.

Karen Johanson Look into Elizabeth Care Home in Westborough. They took wonderful care of my dad.

Rose Chang Chiu How about Aegis? Probably very expensive though.

Terri Sandoval I am a nurse and operate a lovely small private care home Harmony Assisted Living of San Mateo. The home has a Facebook page as well. I pride myself in providing loving care to each resident. You can private message me for more information. Sincerely, Terri

Michelle Milam-Alexis I also recommend Mission Villa. They were great with my grandma. Some of her caretakers even came by on their day off to pay their respects & say goodbye when she passed.

Courtney Tetreault Had a family member in Aegis, it’s not what it appears to be and is soooo costly. Another vote for MIssion Villa (this is where our relative went after Aegis)

Glen Wandersee Anyone who gave life to me,is not going into a care facility.

Anita Porpoise Not until you experience dementia, such as Alzheimer’s will you know for sure. Making the decision to put a loved one in a facility is never easy. But sometimes it is the best for everyone involved. Fortunately my Alzheimer mother was easy like an infant, but she did not even know that she was human or what a human was. Alzheimers and other dementias are the deterioration of the brain, so it affects everyone differently. So some people, that may have been a sweet person all their life can become violent.

Nicholas A. Vejmola My Grandma Dina (though she died in September last year) was with Home Instead for a about two years or so. With Home Instead, you can pick the days the caregiver works and your mother doesn’t need to leave home. Very convenient and their caregivers are very polite. It would probably bring a sense of comfort, trust, and peace of mind knowing your mother is in good care. Just thought I’d throw it out there.

Nicholas A. Vejmola http://www.homeinstead.com/…/Pages/InHomeCareServices.aspx
Please take a moment and check out this link and find out what your options are! Hope this helps!

Home Care San Mateo CA | In Home Care Services | Home Instead

www.homeinstead.com Home Instead Senior Care San Mateo, CA, providing elderly home care services to …See More

Ellen Minucciani I used a board and care home in SSF, had 5 homes in the Winston Manor area. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the name (it’s been 7 years), but my father had dementia and they were very good to him. Took him to all his doctor appts, fed him, bathed him and made sure he took all his medications. Also, you could visit whenever you wanted (did not have to call ahead) and you could take him out anytime you wanted (like for family gatherings or dinner). Social Services at Kaiser Hospital in SSF recommended them.. They were a life saver.

Marcie Mitchell to Sue McNaughton – can you advise?

Merton Chun @Rose Mallamo, my wife and I have been operating Lilies Care Home in the Westborough area for the past 15+ yrs. I can say we have some experience in caring for dementia elderly, both ambulatory and non-ambulatory. Please call 650-737-0917 to speak to Lily about your mother. Lilies Care Home received an Award for Best Care Home in 2012.

Merton Chun You can also check out www.liliescarehome.com for some information, but we look forward to speaking to you and showing you the home. Lilies Care Home – South San Francisco, CA. Provides quality and compassionate c…See More

Laurie Harris-Jahn Aegis is in Westborough was good to my grandpa

Sue McNaughton My mom was in Belle Amor. Olivia, the owner, has 3 homes between Alta Loma Middle School and Buri Buri. One home, on Joaquin, was for people with dementia. The staff was very good with my mom. It was so good having her close and in a caring environment.

Elaine Volpe Rose my uncle is 86 and has just been put into a home in the avenues. My aunt says she is so happy with this home they keep him clean. If you’d like I work with a nurse at school and can ask her.

Maritza Qaqish Thinking of you and I hope you find peace whatever you do

Jeanette Marie I feel for you I know this is a hard decision but taking care of mom is a lot of work. They would be able to care for her around the clock. Not sure if this facility is the best. I guess you have to do your research. God bless you.

Rose Mallamo to Jeanette, yes it’s hard, the problem is she doesn’t walk any more, I can’t lift her, she is solid dead weight. There is nothing wrong with her legs, it’s the dementia, the brain doesn’t tell the feet to move, it’s like a baby… Of course I’m doing my research.. I will have her close by so I can visit daily.

Michelle Mallamo to Rose:  you have a heart of gold Rose.

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Thank you to everyone for sharing advice, this is a very emotionally charged situation and your help is appreciated.

Another resource we have found is A Place For Mom :