Abortion Action; Random Ramblings of a Mom in TrainingBy NADINE MORENO Saturday, April 28, 2012
At first, I was shocked. The number seemed too high, the statement unsettled me. I read to it my husband, who also seemed unsettled. Because facts are so important to me, I figured I would research more. I looked up facts, and I ventured through other sites. Eventually, I posted the statistic on my own Facebook, asking for a basic opinion from any of my own Facebook friends.
At first, the response wasn’t very interesting. Then I got a private message from a friend who didn’t seem to want to share their opinion publicly. So, I posted it again, asking for more responses…. and boy did I get it! We are now three days into the discussion, with 94 comments.
Mind you, when I asked for opinions, I didn’t post my own. I kept my opinions to myself, but asked specific questions. Through out the discussion I got opinions from others about the statistic I had posted, about the rights and/or wrongs of abortion, about the law, about more abortion statistics, and even opinions people had of me!
I’ve always known abortion was a sensitive subject. I’ll never forget the day I was in the bathroom at my college, talking to a pregnant friend. While I sat in the bathroom stall, she stood in front of the mirror doing her hair. She was discussing something about abortions, and how she couldn’t believe someone she knew had had one. The girl washing her hands next to my friend quickly ran out of the bathroom crying. We eventually found out that she had just had an abortion, and was very sensitive to anything having to do with it.
However, it wasn’t until researching this time around, that I got a full grasp of what I was dealing with.
Some facts that were new to me, or surprised me, and that maybe you are already aware of:
- The United States government does not consider an abortion a death.
- The number one cause of death in the World is cardiovascular problems. If abortion was considered a death, it would outnumber cardiovascular deaths by over 4,000,000.
- The likelihood of having had an abortion increases with age.
- Women in their 20’s account for more than half of all abortions in America.
- 54% of women who have abortions had used a contraceptive method during the month they got pregnant, however, 76% of pill users and 49% of condom users admit to using their birth control inconsistently.
- 46% of women did not use birth control during the month they got pregnant. 33% had considered themselves at low risk of pregnancy, 32% had concerns about contraceptive methods, 26% had just had unprotected sex, and 1% had been forced to have sex.
- 11% of all abortion clinics offer abortion services after 24 weeks gestation, and of all abortions preformed in America, 1.5 percent of them were performed after the 24 week mark.
Some of these facts were very shocking to me. Some of them were not. What I realized after getting opinions though, is that very few of these facts were known, or were important, to those who considered themselves pro-choice.
Things that I found interesting after asking for an opinion:
- More than one of my pro-choice friends assumed that I was saying that abortion was murder, even though the word was never stated.
- A pro-choice friend said she was glad that people were using this option, instead of bringing children into the world that they can’t handle or don’t want.
- A pro-choice friend was shocked that abortion was still so prevalent, even though there are so many easily accessible birth control methods.
- A pro-choice friend showed concern about the spread of STD’s (including HIV) with all of these people obviously practicing unprotected sex.
- A pro-choice friend said that the only places calling the statement a fact were Christian or anti-choice websites.
- A pro-choice friend said that abstinence is a pipe dream, and that we should be doing more to educate our children about sex.
- A pro-choice friend said that she wouldn’t consider a miscarriage a death, just as an abortion wasn’t considered a death. She also stated that to be considered alive means you have to live a life.
- A pro-choice friend was continually upset that I even cared about this, that I would post the statistic, and went on to assume that I was not only pro-life, but that I was pro-life because of my religion.
After reading the statistic, I knew I wanted to blog about it. I knew I had a lot to say. After asking for opinions, I have so much more to say.
First of all, I posted the statistic just to get an opinion from pro-choice and pro-life people. What was interesting to me is that I did not get any comments from my pro-life friends. What was even more interesting is that it was soon obvious that I was being judged for simply asking for opinions. I purposely didn’t post any open opinions or statements for a reason, and I got an interesting reaction. I think it’s interesting that I was going to be judged for being pro-life, even though they were telling me I was wrong for judging them for being pro-choice. (again, I am not saying I am pro-life, just that I was already being judged because they thought I was)
Through posting this, and researching facts, I began to feel more and more upset about the entire situation. I wasn’t looking at this from a point of view of being pro-life or pro-choice.
I am looking at this as the daughter of a woman who has had abortions, a friend of women who have had abortions, and as a once teenage mother who not once considered abortion. I am looking at this as the daughter of a woman who gave a child up for adoption, and an aunt to an adopted niece. I am looking at this as a friend who has seen countless female friends have children way before they were ready.
I have seen the emotional toll that each of these options has taken on my family and friends. I’ve heard the stories of how letting a child go up for adoption was the hardest, most heartbreaking experience. How having an abortion is something that will haunt the would-be mother for the rest of her life. How having a child too young had ruined a life, and a family.
I’ve heard stories of how giving up a child for adoption was the best thing for the biological parents, the child, and their new family. I’ve heard the stories where a woman has an abortion, goes on to live a happy life, gets married, and has more children knowing that having an abortion was the right decision for her. How having a child too young is what made the young mother grow up and get out of the bad circumstances she had surrounded herself with.
What makes me sad about these situations is that we are in 2012, where birth control is one of the most accessible forms of medication, and yet we have over 6,000,000 women world-wide having abortions, just this year alone. Why, when there are so many ways to prevent a pregnancy, are we having so many cases of unwanted pregnancy??
If women do not want children, or cannot handle having a child in the point in their life that they got pregnant, why did they have to rely on an abortion? Why didn’t they use their birth control properly? We all know how birth control works, and how it doesn’t. And what really makes me sad, is that even though my friend said we should educate our children, it isn’t our children having abortions. The vast majority of women having abortions are in their 20’s. In fact, a 25-29 year old woman is more likely to have an abortion than a girl aged 15-17.
The fact that someone wouldn’t consider an abortion a death is understandable, but sad nonetheless. This is a life that was intended to enter our world, whether you believe in evolution or creation. This is a life that was ended before it got a chance, and it was a life that the vast majority of women could have prevented.
Do I believe it is a woman’s right to decide what she should and could do with her body? Yes. I believe that a woman can have protected or unprotected sex with whomever she desires. I believe that she should be allowed to get pregnant and decide to not have that child. However, I am going to care that she is doing this. Not because I am a Christian, and not because I think what she is doing is wrong. I am going to care, because she should care. I am going to care, because all of that unprotected sex leads to STD’s and death. I am going to care, because the number one communicable cause of death is an STD/HIV/AIDS. I am going to care, because each woman should have such a respect for herself, and for the entire human race, that she wouldn’t participate in such behavior in the first place.
It is a woman’s right to chose what to do with her body and her own life. However, I am disappointed in the fact that we are so worried about a woman’s rights that we are not nearly worried enough about preventing these women from doing what is needed to prevent the pregnancy in the first place.
We are raising generation after generation of women who don’t care enough to do the right thing, or who don’t know enough about doing things the right way. We are setting them up for the heart break and devastation, not to mention the physical issues, that come along with an abortion. Let me say that again – we are setting them up to have an abortion. We have made abortion such a large issue, and so readily available, that it is not seen as a last resort. It is seen as the go-to method.
Will I stand behind a friend who is having an abortion? Yes. Will I be sad that she has to go through it in the first place? Definitely. Will I be thinking of all of the things that could have been done to prevent that pregnancy? Absolutely.
Am I worried about the fetus in her womb? Not nearly as much as I am worried about how and why she got into this situation, and how she will pull herself back from this moment.
I am pro-education, because we need to educate more, and not just our children, but our world. I am pro-abstinence, because there is no better way to protect ourselves from the emotional toll that sex can take on someone who is not ready for all it entails. I am pro-birth control, because we should be doing what we can to protect ourselves emotionally and physically. I am pro-adoption, because I have seen amazing families come to life through the blessing of one mother knowing she can do better by placing her child with another family. I am pro-choice, because every human has the right to make their own choices… but that does not mean that I do not care.